I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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