good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
