thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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