My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
