this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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