thus making me awesome and them whores
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
The ass gains better be worth it
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