my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
