Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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