His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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