I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
