He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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