I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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