I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
