Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
