She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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