I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
