In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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