I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
