I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
