Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
