try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
