Plan B is the new Plan A
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
