That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
