Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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