I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
if only i could text you this smell
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
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