you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
