i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
