So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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