I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
