Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
