Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
