It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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