Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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