I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
are you so shy because you have an std?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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