GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
