Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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