I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Floor bacon is actually really good
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
