I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
