bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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