I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
