YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
