Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
