Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
whose ass print is on the piano?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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