Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
