i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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