you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
