I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
