TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
