He asked to "fluff my boner.."
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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