Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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