Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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