Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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