do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
